Same old family... thank goodness

I should start off by saying that in about mid November, I made a "Sarah & Chris Countdown" calendar and stuck it to our fridge.  Everyday one of us would put a big red "X" to mark that we had survived another day without part of our family around, but it also meant that we were 1 day closer to seeing them.

We were all so excited for that day that we had built up this idyllic scenario in our heads of how wonderful and perfect this Christmas was going to be.  And it was perfect.  Perfectly NORMAL, with a twist.  

There is something that I've known for some time but this was the kids' first experience with this phenomenon.  You see, when you are away from loved ones for a long stretch of time, your mind has a way of playing tricks on you.  During their absence, it seems that you only remember how wonderful and perfect they were, forgetting all of their weirdness, kookiness, etc.  Sometimes you can even forget how to interact with them the way you used to.  This is what happened to us.  I'm sure that we are not the only family who has had this happen to them, or maybe we are just a rare breed or freak of nature family...no comments please.  haha

Because we have younger kids in the house, and because we are human, it is a rare day that some sort of disagreement doesn't occur.  Mom's LOVE those days but they are few a far between.  The older they get the fewer scuffles they have, but sadly, they are still pretty frequent around here.  These moments are not well thought out or planned and mostly just irrupt at random and usually over the silliest things possible.  

What do these irruptions have to do with our holiday?  Well, they became a wonderful yet frustrating part of our holiday.  On one hand it was a little frustrating to have to deal with these problems when all I wanted was to have one of those "Norman Rockwell" Christmas' where everyone is on their best behavior and every voice sounds calm and angelic for the entire holiday break.  Yeah right!  I should have known better.  

So as frustrating as these episodes were, they also had a wonderful side to them (this is the twist part).  Wonderful you ask?  Yup, wonderful.  You see, having our family put under a "microscope"  (and I thought being the Bishops family was bad) gave me the opportunity to to have several great conversations with my kids. We talked about lots of stuff but mostly about how our family will never be the same.  We will never be able to just pile the kids in the car on the spur of the moment because we're going on a "road trip".  We won't be able to see each other when ever we want to or get hugs when ever we need one or have impromptu heart to heart talk with each other.  Gone are the dinners with the six of us around the table cracking each other up or ticking each other off. 

Our little family has changed and with change, comes growing pains.   As each one moves away, goes on missions, gets married, and brings others into our family, the fabric of our family will forever be changed.  This nearly brought me to tears as I thought of how I would cope with not having my little family around me.  I must admit that some days are better than others but there was a day or two that my emotions where all over the place.  Our family has had some VERY big changes lately and I wondered if I could handle all of it.  It's not everyday that you change jobs, homes, wards, schools, locations AND marry your oldest child off and send her thousands of miles away.

This doesn't mean it's a bad thing.  There are lots of positive things about change.  We talked about the good part of change too.  We talked about how, as we change, our need for understanding each other will increase and our way of interacting with each other will hopefully deepen.  We talked about giving each other the benefit of the doubt.  We talked about paying attention to not only what we say but how we say it.   We talked about our need to say please and thank you more often and acknowledge the good in each other on a more regular basis.  And finally, we talked about how we all need to be more patient and kind. 

When the kids where young, I would tell them all the time that they needed to protect and take care of their relationships with each other while they are young because someday, they would NEED each other.  It was never acceptable that they say "I hate you" or other hurtful things.  When they had an argument, they would have to work it out before they could go anywhere else.  I wanted them to have the feeling of being "stuck" until they fixed the problem.  I even went so far as to connect their wrists with hair bands and force them to cooperate which usually lasted until it became a giggle fest.  But at the end of it all, they learned that it's okay to have disagreements as long as you fix it before you move on and to not hold grudges for more than a day.

We played game after game, ate WAY too much food, watches movies, went on a few road trips for old time sake, ruffled a few feathers, calmed those feather down again, shoveled lots of snow, had some snowball fights, played dodge ball twice, did I mention eating way too much?... and had a great visit with some new family as well as old family.
 

 So this Christmas was a roller coaster of sorts.  Lots of emotions for me.  So it wasn't the "perfect" Christmas by Hollywood standards but it was a wonderful one.  Our family is wonderfully, perfectly, NORMAL!  In a weird sort of way.  I love them all!

Amanda, Sarah & Chris

The kids next to the snowman that C & S built.

Weebles wobble but they don't fall down.

California boys having a snow block throwing contest

Photographic evidence that Amanda cleaned her bathroom!

Amanda doing a challenge to win the game "Would you rather".  Very fun game BTW

Her challenge was to have someone draw on her face...Sarah enjoyed it way too much

Hey, she won the game!  Doesn't she look thrilled?