Shortly after we moved here, I was assigned a visiting teacher partner and a route. I was looking forward to getting to know some of the other women in the ward. My partner was great and was very devoted to going each month which I was thrilled about because I was beginning to get a little antsy with nothing to do. The first time we went, I met three amazing women. The two we were assigned to see and my partner. We had a great time and I thought to myself, this is going to be awesome!
One of these sweet sisters is the Bishops wife. She is fun, bubbly, and very easy to talk to. The other is an amazing woman with an amazing story to tell. She was born and raised in Africa but has lived here for 10 years. She is kind of quiet and she thinks that she doesn't have much to offer but I'll tell you what, she has a spirit inside her that is as large as the empire state building which is funny because I don't think she weighs more than 100 pounds! There was something about her that mesmerized me.
Fast forward one month...They changed my partner AND my route! One time is all I was able to have with them. One month.
I thought, okay, now what? I'll take whatever comes... Well, I got a new route and partner which was good. So on with life. I'll just get to know even more people, right.
About 4 months ago, I was given a calling to teach the third Sunday Relief Society lesson. I was actually really excited about this because I've discovered over the years that I enjoy teaching. Go figure. I thought this was perfect. A once a month calling. What could be better?
But I soon found out that my happiness was temporary. The day that I was suppose to teach my very first lesson, I was asked to meet with one of the Bishops counselors. Of course all sorts of thoughts went through my head, like... I couldn't have done anything wrong or offended anyone...I haven't even taught the lesson yet. I wondered if it was some small calling in the YW or something to do with visiting teaching. But I just figured I'd go and see what it was about. So the counselor had me take a seat and then, without much "small talk", he asked if I would be the CUB SCOUT BEAR LEADER!! What?? But, but I'm already doing/intend to do one calling.
Honestly, this was my greatest fear. I don't know what to do with a gaggle of little, loud, smelly boys! Actually that's not the part that really had me breaking into a cold sweat. Truth be told, I don't know how to figure out all of those patches, badges, belt loops, awards, and beads! Not to mention all of the those ridiculous songs, chants, and cheers. I honestly think you need to be a rocket scientist to figure all of those doo-hickys out and it probably helps to be a trained circus entertainer to be able to entertain those pint sized people. Then they told me that my assistant was none other then that sweet woman from Africa that was taken away from my visiting teaching route! When I heard that, I knew that God was at work here.
After I picked my jaw up off of the floor...I quickly resigned myself to be the best darn bear den leader I could possibly be. You see, since our move, I've felt a little lost. I was so used to being on the go here and there, used to knowing just about everyone, used to knowing how to do my callings and I was pretty much on auto pilot. Nothing like moving to make you feel all sorts of things that you're not used to feeling. It's a time when you can hide, keeping your head low and your abilities hidden or a time to step into a new life, offering what you have to give to your new surroundings. I don't think that moving is the only way a person can do this but it certainly is one way.
The timing of this calling was interesting because the holidays were just around the corner. I think we held one meeting and then it was Thanksgiving. We held one more and then it was Christmas, New Years etc so we didn't hold scouts for 3 weeks. After the first of the year, we held 2 more meetings and then it happened...
I was called in by the Bishop. You can imagine what I'm thinking at this point. I just knew that there were some fantastic people in this ward and that I couldn't possibly be the only one who was willing to accept a calling. I mean really people. But I told Dave that I would do what ever I was asked to do and that I NEVER should have "asked" for something to do. I learned that Heavenly Father actually does listen and if you're not careful, he'll give you exactly what you ask for, times 10.
You see, it was just the day before this happened that I was talking with Dave about how I'm in this really strange place in my life. I have been a stay at home mom for 20+ years, my kids are all in school and I'm wondering what I do now. It's an uncomfortable place. I kinda feels like I got "laid off" from my job. Like my job sort of ended and I don't know what to do. I could probably get a job, go to school, or something like that but on the other hand I feel a deep sense that I need to be here when the kids get home. I don't want to make that call that says "sorry I can't make it to your (game, concert etc) because I have to work." We've been blessed that we have had that option, although many days I would have gladly gone to work!
I see the benefits of it when I see my kids and the choices they make. That is my paycheck!
So the Bishop proceeds to release me from BOTH of my calling in exchange for one. He asked if I would serve as the first counselor in the Relief Society Pres. What? I knew that this was a new presidency (only 6 months) and that that was really a short time for that. It turns out that the Stake "stole" the 1 counselor for YW and that left an empty hole. I suppose I make a good "plug". I will do what I'm asked to do. With as many blessings as I've got, why wouldn't I? And I suppose I just got "hired" for a new "job".
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Same old family... thank goodness
I should start off by saying that in about mid November, I made a "Sarah & Chris Countdown" calendar and stuck it to our fridge. Everyday one of us would put a big red "X" to mark that we had survived another day without part of our family around, but it also meant that we were 1 day closer to seeing them.
We were all so excited for that day that we had built up this idyllic scenario in our heads of how wonderful and perfect this Christmas was going to be. And it was perfect. Perfectly NORMAL, with a twist.
There is something that I've known for some time but this was the kids' first experience with this phenomenon. You see, when you are away from loved ones for a long stretch of time, your mind has a way of playing tricks on you. During their absence, it seems that you only remember how wonderful and perfect they were, forgetting all of their weirdness, kookiness, etc. Sometimes you can even forget how to interact with them the way you used to. This is what happened to us. I'm sure that we are not the only family who has had this happen to them, or maybe we are just a rare breed or freak of nature family...no comments please. haha
Because we have younger kids in the house, and because we are human, it is a rare day that some sort of disagreement doesn't occur. Mom's LOVE those days but they are few a far between. The older they get the fewer scuffles they have, but sadly, they are still pretty frequent around here. These moments are not well thought out or planned and mostly just irrupt at random and usually over the silliest things possible.
What do these irruptions have to do with our holiday? Well, they became a wonderful yet frustrating part of our holiday. On one hand it was a little frustrating to have to deal with these problems when all I wanted was to have one of those "Norman Rockwell" Christmas' where everyone is on their best behavior and every voice sounds calm and angelic for the entire holiday break. Yeah right! I should have known better.
So as frustrating as these episodes were, they also had a wonderful side to them (this is the twist part). Wonderful you ask? Yup, wonderful. You see, having our family put under a "microscope" (and I thought being the Bishops family was bad) gave me the opportunity to to have several great conversations with my kids. We talked about lots of stuff but mostly about how our family will never be the same. We will never be able to just pile the kids in the car on the spur of the moment because we're going on a "road trip". We won't be able to see each other when ever we want to or get hugs when ever we need one or have impromptu heart to heart talk with each other. Gone are the dinners with the six of us around the table cracking each other up or ticking each other off.
Our little family has changed and with change, comes growing pains. As each one moves away, goes on missions, gets married, and brings others into our family, the fabric of our family will forever be changed. This nearly brought me to tears as I thought of how I would cope with not having my little family around me. I must admit that some days are better than others but there was a day or two that my emotions where all over the place. Our family has had some VERY big changes lately and I wondered if I could handle all of it. It's not everyday that you change jobs, homes, wards, schools, locations AND marry your oldest child off and send her thousands of miles away.
This doesn't mean it's a bad thing. There are lots of positive things about change. We talked about the good part of change too. We talked about how, as we change, our need for understanding each other will increase and our way of interacting with each other will hopefully deepen. We talked about giving each other the benefit of the doubt. We talked about paying attention to not only what we say but how we say it. We talked about our need to say please and thank you more often and acknowledge the good in each other on a more regular basis. And finally, we talked about how we all need to be more patient and kind.
When the kids where young, I would tell them all the time that they needed to protect and take care of their relationships with each other while they are young because someday, they would NEED each other. It was never acceptable that they say "I hate you" or other hurtful things. When they had an argument, they would have to work it out before they could go anywhere else. I wanted them to have the feeling of being "stuck" until they fixed the problem. I even went so far as to connect their wrists with hair bands and force them to cooperate which usually lasted until it became a giggle fest. But at the end of it all, they learned that it's okay to have disagreements as long as you fix it before you move on and to not hold grudges for more than a day.
We played game after game, ate WAY too much food, watches movies, went on a few road trips for old time sake, ruffled a few feathers, calmed those feather down again, shoveled lots of snow, had some snowball fights, played dodge ball twice, did I mention eating way too much?... and had a great visit with some new family as well as old family.
We were all so excited for that day that we had built up this idyllic scenario in our heads of how wonderful and perfect this Christmas was going to be. And it was perfect. Perfectly NORMAL, with a twist.
There is something that I've known for some time but this was the kids' first experience with this phenomenon. You see, when you are away from loved ones for a long stretch of time, your mind has a way of playing tricks on you. During their absence, it seems that you only remember how wonderful and perfect they were, forgetting all of their weirdness, kookiness, etc. Sometimes you can even forget how to interact with them the way you used to. This is what happened to us. I'm sure that we are not the only family who has had this happen to them, or maybe we are just a rare breed or freak of nature family...no comments please. haha
Because we have younger kids in the house, and because we are human, it is a rare day that some sort of disagreement doesn't occur. Mom's LOVE those days but they are few a far between. The older they get the fewer scuffles they have, but sadly, they are still pretty frequent around here. These moments are not well thought out or planned and mostly just irrupt at random and usually over the silliest things possible.
What do these irruptions have to do with our holiday? Well, they became a wonderful yet frustrating part of our holiday. On one hand it was a little frustrating to have to deal with these problems when all I wanted was to have one of those "Norman Rockwell" Christmas' where everyone is on their best behavior and every voice sounds calm and angelic for the entire holiday break. Yeah right! I should have known better.
So as frustrating as these episodes were, they also had a wonderful side to them (this is the twist part). Wonderful you ask? Yup, wonderful. You see, having our family put under a "microscope" (and I thought being the Bishops family was bad) gave me the opportunity to to have several great conversations with my kids. We talked about lots of stuff but mostly about how our family will never be the same. We will never be able to just pile the kids in the car on the spur of the moment because we're going on a "road trip". We won't be able to see each other when ever we want to or get hugs when ever we need one or have impromptu heart to heart talk with each other. Gone are the dinners with the six of us around the table cracking each other up or ticking each other off.
Our little family has changed and with change, comes growing pains. As each one moves away, goes on missions, gets married, and brings others into our family, the fabric of our family will forever be changed. This nearly brought me to tears as I thought of how I would cope with not having my little family around me. I must admit that some days are better than others but there was a day or two that my emotions where all over the place. Our family has had some VERY big changes lately and I wondered if I could handle all of it. It's not everyday that you change jobs, homes, wards, schools, locations AND marry your oldest child off and send her thousands of miles away.
This doesn't mean it's a bad thing. There are lots of positive things about change. We talked about the good part of change too. We talked about how, as we change, our need for understanding each other will increase and our way of interacting with each other will hopefully deepen. We talked about giving each other the benefit of the doubt. We talked about paying attention to not only what we say but how we say it. We talked about our need to say please and thank you more often and acknowledge the good in each other on a more regular basis. And finally, we talked about how we all need to be more patient and kind.
When the kids where young, I would tell them all the time that they needed to protect and take care of their relationships with each other while they are young because someday, they would NEED each other. It was never acceptable that they say "I hate you" or other hurtful things. When they had an argument, they would have to work it out before they could go anywhere else. I wanted them to have the feeling of being "stuck" until they fixed the problem. I even went so far as to connect their wrists with hair bands and force them to cooperate which usually lasted until it became a giggle fest. But at the end of it all, they learned that it's okay to have disagreements as long as you fix it before you move on and to not hold grudges for more than a day.
We played game after game, ate WAY too much food, watches movies, went on a few road trips for old time sake, ruffled a few feathers, calmed those feather down again, shoveled lots of snow, had some snowball fights, played dodge ball twice, did I mention eating way too much?... and had a great visit with some new family as well as old family.
So this Christmas was a roller coaster of sorts. Lots of emotions for me. So it wasn't the "perfect" Christmas by Hollywood standards but it was a wonderful one. Our family is wonderfully, perfectly, NORMAL! In a weird sort of way. I love them all!
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| Amanda, Sarah & Chris |
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| The kids next to the snowman that C & S built. |
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| Weebles wobble but they don't fall down. |
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| California boys having a snow block throwing contest |
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| Photographic evidence that Amanda cleaned her bathroom! |
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| Amanda doing a challenge to win the game "Would you rather". Very fun game BTW |
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| Her challenge was to have someone draw on her face...Sarah enjoyed it way too much |
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| Hey, she won the game! Doesn't she look thrilled? |
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