True Grit...

I've been a bit down and out lately because of my back.  Turns out that I had a "very large" herniated disk in my lower back.  L5 & S1 to be exact.  The pain radiated down my right leg and into my foot.  In fact, the nerves were so pinched that my foot and calf are still numb.  Dave and I were suppose to spend a fun extended weekend with some of our dearest friends but instead we ended up staying in the condo doing practically nothing.  We watched a few movies, ate way too much junk food and laughed a little...I was in severe pain when I laughed so I tried not to.

I know that I am blessed to have a wonderful family and amazing friends and this little bump in the road re-confirmed this for me.  I've had so many calls, texts, emails, and other sweet offers to help that I was surprised. Grateful, but surprised.  Dave took a few days off and was so helpful.  Honestly, I couldn't have done it without him.  He would help me with everything!  If he wasn't there, I would have been crawling everywhere or just stayed in bed.  He and the kids kept up on laundry, dishes, dinners, EVERYTHING! 

I wanted to take a picture of my incision but I can't take it myself (my arms are not that long) and I keep forgetting to ask anyone to take one for me.  Actually, I did think to ask one of my kids (Amanda) but it turns out that she gets a wee bit queezy when she looks upon such things.   She discovered this "flaw" this year in her college sports anatomy class.  When the teacher showed a film on an A.C.L repair, she had to leave the room and sit out in the hallway so she wouldn't throw up!  Needless to say, she has changed her career path, drastically.  Instead of the medical field she is now thinking about going into law.  Good choice Amanda! 


It has been just over one week and Dave has gone back to work, the kids are back in full swing with their lives and I am moving around, slowly.  Mornings are the most difficult because I'm pretty stiff and things are tender but at least I'm moving.  The house is way too quiet.  I didn't used to mind that so much when I could stay busy cleaning, cooking, run errands etc, but now it's a deafening sound.  When I was on the pain meds, I could just sleep the day away and have no guilt.  But now all I need is some ibuprofen and I'm good.  I have way too much time on my hands but my body can't move like it used to yet, and my brain won't shut up!  

For a few day there I would cry at the drop of a hat when I think of the people that I miss.  I told Dave it feels like I took a 7 month leap backwards, overnight, to when we first moved here.  Back then, I felt a pain so deep that my body literally ached.  It was all just too much.  Now, one thing is sure, we have moved A LOT in the last 21 years so this was crazy for me to feel this way but I missed Mesquite and the life and friends we had made for the last 8 years.  I missed our ward, our callings, but most of all I missed the one family member that we "left behind".  Our family "motto" has always been "As long as we're together, we will be just fine".  When we moved, I couldn't shake that feeling that we had left someone behind.  We weren't together so how could we be fine?   


But the thing is, we are fine.  All of us are doing just fine.  This last 7 months we've met some fantastic people.  I can't believe how open and caring and fun these new friends are.  Our kids are so happy with the schools and new friends that they have here.  They have been accepted so freely by them it amazes me.  They have a whole neighborhood of friends.  I have wonderful women who I get to serve with and associate with.  Dave has an amazing job with endless opportunities with a work environment that is like night and day from where he was.  And our "lost" member has found herself, happy, stronger than she ever imagined herself to be, with a loving & compassionate eternal companion.  


This experience has made us stronger and for me, made me look at some things with a very different eye.  I've noticed myself watching those of the older generations more.  I find my mind asking things like, "What have they survived?,  How did they cope when their kids started moving out of the nest?,  What aches and pains have they endured?,  but most of all, HOW do you do this?"  I know there is happiness in all stages of life but making the transition is more tricky than I thought it would be.  I look at my parents and all that they have been through 50+ years with 5 kids and wonder how they did it.  Sheer determination, commitment and TRUE GRIT that's how! I don't have to look too far before I am given a large dose of perspective.  So when I feel the tears welling up inside, I just breathe & look around me.  Life is good, pains and all.