Wise words from a friend.

I couldn't resist sharing this email I received from my friend, in response to my "Too much time on my hands" post.  She prefers to stay behind the scenes (she did give her permission), but I thought every mother or future mother could benefit from her words.  Enjoy!  She is a very good cheerleader!

Sharie,
I have thought about the same things as the kids get older, but the thing I am noticing is that I am actually busier and I don't like it!  I think women have this inherent need to be busy and I am not sure it's great.  I mean, it's good not to be idle, but being busy is just being busy.  Sometimes things are missed.  I agree with you totally that you don't want to tell your teenage kids, "Hey, I am too busy to come to your game because of my self inflicted job."  Kids won't understand that from a Mom who has already sacrificed to be at home.  Also, I agree that working isn't always the greatest because of office politics and the added costs and stresses of two parents/spouses working. 

Call me old fashioned because it fits, but I loved knowing where I could find my Grandma.  We are getting to that age where I think our kids expect us to be around.  They will leave the nest, but they still want to echo locate their way back home and find the stability still exists.  I loved one of the GC talks from spring about a young girl who made a goal list.  On it, she had that she wanted to be a cookie making Grandma.  I loved it!  She was thinking ahead.  Time just means the things you put on hold, can now be done.  Personal histories, rest, organizing, rest, spending time with family, rest, preparing for retirement (with frugal practices), rest, developing talents, rest, working in the temple, rest, etc. rest, etc...

I don't think "out in the workplace" is a solution for time.  I think finding out how to deepen the person within is awesome.  If you sang, like you did, spend more time doing it.  If you did art, take classes and become what you were meant to be.  Growing older means time to magnify who we are! 

I intend to pick up where I left off with some of my studies (not college, but some of my interests), to organize our personal histories, make life simpler, savor the moments, make things for my kids as heirlooms, but I want to be found.  I want my kids to know where to find me.  Every day we have a hummingbird (going to write about him on my blog) that comes to our home at 5PM.  It's on his route.  I want to always have a home where my kids can feel that they can come and find solace.  I want a home where my Grandkids can come and have a cookie and milk and I will have time to read them a story from my book collection. 

My Mother-in-Law told me that motherhood only stretches as the kids leave the nest.  She told me I will worry more, have more prayers going out to situations out of my control and I will forever be Mom.  It's true. 

So, have a pretty garden, lovely organized shelves (jealous) and a life of talents growing, but be where you can be found.  It's a hard world out there and someone has to nail down the tent corners of the abode by simply being there!

I am glad we made this choice and I see how much security it has provided for our children.  I remember feeling the same way of knowing day or night where I could find my Grandparents.  Even if they went on an errand, I knew where they were or I could have sat on a step and I would be assured they would be home.  I truly feel someone has to be at watch at the lighthouse.  If you want to be a beacon in the dark skies, you have to be there to answer calls of distress.  Period. 

It's not glamorous.  It can be pitifully boring, but glamor and intrigue come in the next life when we have much more to learn and when our jobs, which we do now, are exalted and not cut down.

Being Mom and someday Grandma is the best title you can have.  I don't think it means you don't expand horizons.  I am learning Spanish right now.  I have goals to write, learn languages, make things, grow stuff, etc.  I can do that from home.  I travel, but I do that with my family or hubby.  I don't feel like I missed out on life...I feel like I got to create and raise life.  That's pretty awesome. 

I want to be found.  I don't want to be the home the hummingbird passes by.  I want it to come each day and feel safe and comfortable and rest and then move on.

These things I ponder.  I know the value of being easily found.  We know how to reach our Father in Heaven.  On earth, our children should know how to find us and it shouldn't be by text, cell or e-mail only.  They need to know, day or night, someone is there in the refuge. 

I have no desire at all to be in the fray.  It's not me.  I can find a lot of beautiful things to do all from my "headquarters".   I am working on a "tuck in" blanket.  It's going in my "little kid" room. I am thinking ahead.  As I work on it, I think of tucking little people under it.  Those are the dreams life is made of.  Even if the visits are only once in a while, you can still provide a safe place to land. 

Well, good topic.  Women need to realize that motherhood is exalted and not something of ill repute.  It's not "oh just that..."  It's the highest calling.  It's the bestest calling (smile).  It's hard, it's boring and it's perfect.