Facial hair & Cruise Ships

Dave and I were on a cruise one time and we went to see the comedian at one of the evening shows.  I can't remember his name but he had us all laughing hysterically.  I was laughing so hard that tears were running down my cheeks and I almost couldn't get enough air.  Well, there may have been a few in the crowd that we're laughing so much, which you'll understand very shortly...  

He was totally clean with no foul language, crude comments or anything.  But what was so funny was that he had this piece about how strange it is to see couples (mostly older) come on board the ship and the are dressed the same.  He said, "You know what I'm talking about.  Look around, you'll see pops and grammy wearing matching shirts, hats, pants etc."  He wondered how long it took for that male to just "give up" and let her dress him how she wanted to.  He said that often times they even had the same haircut!  Now you see why there were a few in the crowd that probably weren't amused!  But it's TRUE!  

Now just to be clear here, Dave would rather die by firing squad then the let me dress him in matchy matchy outfits.  And to be even more clear, I would rather swim in a body of water that I can't see my feet in than to do it either.  Anyone who knows me, knows that that is one of my greatest fears (the dark water, not the matching outfit, although it might be a close second)!  I've decided that wearing matching shirts, hats, pants etc. is just part of it.  It's the "giving up" part.  So it turns out that the older we get, the more we look the same...Case in point

Pardon me for being blunt but let me describe what I see happening to all of us.  Men develop a "chest" just as ours shrinking and sagging.  Men start to loose hair on their heads but find it growing out their ears, nose, back and eyebrows.  We find ourselves plucking & shaving in places we've never needed too before.  Or if we have the cash available, we opt for the more high tech laser treatment (can you imagine our grandparents even considering this).  At the same time we're shopping for "hair volume-izing shampoo" to get our head hair to seem fuller.  Some of us find that our feet grow the older we get.  Heaven help me if I EVER wear the same size 14 that Dave wears!  Women loose estrogen but gain testosterone.  For both males and females, our eyesight goes bad, our hearing goes bad, our hair goes gray. Sometimes I wonder if the only thing that separates males and females is that women wear jewelry and make up, on a good day.  

I think that all of this is God's way of leveling the playing field.  For what purpose?  I don't know.  I just know that I am not going down without a fight!  I will pluck, shave, and slather myself in what ever it takes to NOT look like wonderful husband.  And we will not ever dress in the same outfits!  Not ever!  Because that is just giving up!


P.S. MRI results are back.  Doc. says I've got a "fairly sizable" herniated disk and I will be getting two cortisone injections next week.  Hopefully I'll be able to feel my right foot and leg after that.  Just as I was figuring out how to not walk like Quasimodo...